Title Things I've Learned From Women Who've Dumped Me

Author Edited by Ben Karlin

Year Published 2008

Kind of Book Humor essays/Relationship

How strongly I recommend it 8/10 

My Impressions

This is a great post break-up book for a guy (especially if she dumped you). It is a compilation of comedians sharing stories about girlfriends who dumped them and lessons they learned. There are a few duds, but most of them are pretty funny and at times even insightful. It gives you the feeling that you're not alone. As R.E.M. says, "everybody hurts"

Date Read January 2023

Practical Takeaways

  • If you're girlfriend/wife is going in for an operation call her before and after to ask how it was and bring her flower - Tom Shillue

  • Never tell someone who is interested in you romantically that you love them 'as a person' - Andy Selsberg

  • Don't introduce your girlfriend to your dodgy friends who might try to get with her- Ben Karlin

Big Ideas

  • Sometimes the girl who breaks your heart doesn't even remember she dated you years later - Ben Karlin

  • Women can dump men for being TOO good (too handsome, too successful, too kind, too thoughtful, too good in bed) -Ben Karlin

  • "Failed" past relationships prepare men for future long-term relationships by providing them a template of what NOT to do -Tom Shillue

  • Someone who is interested in you romantically will hate you forever if you tell them you love them 'as a person' -Andy Selsberg

  • We all want to believe that the people who dump us will regret it someday-Damian Kulash Jr.

  • Sometimes people won't want their partner to move in with them if they move across the country to be together, because they are afraid that they will feel too guilty if things don't work out- Ben Karlin

  • Everyone gets their heart broken once- Ben Karlin

  • The lucky people are those who only get their heart broken once- Ben Karlin

  • Dating a beautiful woman (who every other guy wishes they were dating) can make you feel better about yourself than anything in the world (including anti-depressants)-Todd Hanson

However

  • Beautiful woman (who every other guy wishes they were dating) may dump you at any time -Todd Hanson

Because

  • Beautiful woman (who every other guy wishes they were dating) have the pick of the litter when it comes to men who they can date-Todd Hanson

  • Similarly to how you can only have a maximum of 2 of  the 3 qualities in showbuisiness when working on a project: Faster, better, cheaper-Todd Hanson

  • You can only have a maximum of 2 of the 3 qualities in a romantic partner: Sexy, Smart, Sane-Todd Hanson

  • There are multiple reasons why a women might reject a man-Todd Hanson

  • A woman may reject a man because she doesn't like him enough-Todd Hanson

But

  • A woman may reject a man because she likes him TOO much-Todd Hanson

  • A woman may reject a man because he didn't reject her-Todd Hanson

  • Guys who claim they understand everything about women are interesting, but full of shit-Todd Hanson

  • It is difficult for empaths/sensitive people to break up with someone-Todd Hanson

Therefore

  • empaths/sensitive people are usually the ones to get dumped in a relationship, even when they wanted to end things first-Todd Hanson

  • Strippers think men are gay/effeminate if they-Patton Oswalt

  1. Go down on women

  2. Write women letters saying they miss them

  3. Don't pay their girlfriend's rent

  • Sleeping with a very attractive woman boosts a man's ego more than anything else in the world (even getting a great job) -Jason Nash

  • When a man who doesn't think he is worthy of sleeping with a very attractive woman, sleeps with a very attractive woman he will feel like it was a mistake and that she (and other people) will realize he is unworthy at any minute -Jason Nash

  • Insecure men drive attractive women away because they start acting weird and unworthy when attractive women get in their proximity (not because they are bald, or ugly, or have glasses) -Jason Nash