Title The Mystery Method
Author Erik Von Markovik
Year Published 2007
Kind of Book Masculinity
How strongly I recommend it 8/10
My Impressions Glad I read this (if only from a historical perspective.) It is pretty crazy how much this guy came up with in the world of pick-up. He is certainly a polarizing figure, but he knows a thing or two about female psychology…
Date Read January 2021
Practical Takeaways
Don’t try to argue with a woman or change her mind rationally
Use a backturn
When in doubt always escalate
(LMR) make sure you qualify her hours before trying to sleep with her. Show her/tell her that she is winning you over
(LMR) freeze her out. Stop completely. Turn on the light, check your email, DON"T SULK. Just act like your arousal has been shut off
(sex) Be sure to use protection the first time you fuck a woman
Build your social circle
(clothing) wear at least one item that attracts attention
Attract, comfort build, seduce
Don't ask about her boyfriend
Don't be phased if she mentions a boyfriend A: he may or may not exist
Make her chase you
Focus on building your game, not on getting the girl
Train yourself not to care how the approach goes
Challenge 9 or 10s hard , but not 6 or 7s
Attract and then comfort. Avoid comfort before attraction
(How often to approach) go out 4 nights a week for 3hrs. Approach every 20mins
(Qualifying) Don't qualify her on looks alone
Don't pursue foreplay until you are in a sex location. Push her away if you are going there "not here"
Don't use tongue when kissing in public
Know your opener ahead of time
Internalize the 3 second rule
Don't open if you think there will be an external interruption in the first 3mins (eg. Waitress coming over, bartender taking order)
Don't offer to buy her drink (don't be too dogmatic about this though)
Hold your drink down by your hip. Don't hold your drink in front of your chest
Don't try to look cool or tough. Look friendly
Give your wing $200 at the start of the night. Have him give you $20 every time you open a set
Smile as you walk around the venue
Get rid of your constant smile after you open
Speak loudly
Speak slowly
Speak in a deep voice
Lean back when you're talking to her. Don't lean in. Have her lean in
Get rid of fidgeting
Make sure she always feels like you're about to leave in A1 (during the first few minutes)
Come in at an energy level slightly higher than hers or the sets
Game with higher energy levels
Create a few canned openers and routines
Befriend social guys in the bar
Don't scan the room
Set the frame that you are the prize and she is trying to win you over
Create the frame like you are the girl and she is the guy and she just wants you for sex “You just want me for my body”
“Hands off the merchandise”
“all you girls think about is sex”
Make her feel like you’re curious about her, but haven’t made up your mind if she’s good enough for you yet
Always assume that its on if she is talking to you
Act as if where you are and what you're doing is the best place to be in the whole venue
(False time constraint) body rock ie. Rock away from her to look like you're about to leave
Be the one to lead the conversation. Don’t let her pick boring topics A: if she picks boring topics and gets bored it will still be your fault for boring her
Be discrete about getting her number
Give her plausible deniability when asking her back to your place (Eg. Do you want to come by my house and see my dog?)
(compliance) ask her to hold your drink
(compliance) stand a little closer
Don't punish good behavior (with neg) don't reward bad behavior (with compliment, IOI, qualifying yourself)
(kino) don't put your hand on her thigh, breast, ass, and then leave it there. Keep it moving and have it end up somewhere less promiscuous
Compliment from a screening frame, not a begging frame
Don't mention her looks
Tell her how you view her and she will agree if she likes how the role makes her feel
(compliment) "you seem like someone who really knows what she wants. I admire that"
(compliment) "you have a good energy"
Have standards about what kind of women you will sleep with or date
If a girl friendzones you, Leave her, reinvent yourself, maybe even get a few other girls to make her jealous and represent yourself in a new frame
Be willing to provide 90% of the conversation at first
(negs) "Where's your off button?"
(negs) "I like your nails. Are they real?"
(negs) "Your nose wiggles when you speak"
(negs) Tell her she has something in her ear
(negs) Tell her she has a crusty eye
The better looking the woman the more negs and disqualifiers
Ask "so how do you all know each other?" at some point in the conversation
(wing) Never steal your wing's target
(wing) Whoever opens the set gets to choose which girl to go for
(wing) Always agree with your wing over the girl
(wing) don't turn your body away from your wing
(wing) never leave him standing around
Don't open when she is about to order a drink
Sit with your back to the bar with the girl facing you
Make her hold something for you (eg. Your drink)
(disqualifier) "You're too much of a nice girl for me"
(disqualifier) "we're not going to get along"
(disqualifier) "its not going to work out between us"
(disqualifier) "You're a _____ I can't even talk to you"
Use your mnemonic techniques to show off teach them to her (eg. Peg system)
Memorize a few false time constraints and negs
Use another girl you open as a pawn to open another group
Have at least 1-2 good stories to tell
Keep the conversation going during moves and jumps
(When asked "so what do you do?") answer with your story. "when I was a kid I wanted to be…" then bring it to what you are doing today A: this helps her relate to you. If you just say "magician" she might not be able to relate at all
Try to lock down a reason or date plan before getting the number
Choose a date spot near your place
Ask her "would you like to kiss me?"
Be willing to laugh at yourself
start doing what you would do if you had no chance to fail
Ask her "What were you like as a teenager? (or kid)?"
Stick around a bit after getting her number. Don't just take the number and run
Pursue many women A: so you don't get too invested in one and fuck it up
Plan out all the venue changes ahead of time, but make it feel spontaneous to her
Big Ideas
It takes between 4-10hrs before a woman is comfortable enough to have sex with a man
Approach anxiety never goes away because it is hardwired.
you can break all the rules of pick-up if your frame is strong enough
We act on our emotions and then backwards rationalize
Women are more socially savvy than men
because
Women have more practice flirting than men, because women start flirting from puberty onwards
Women will reject a man if they think he will reject them or that they can't have him.
//autoreject
If a man hasn't gotten any IOIs 25min into the set he blew it
Surprising Facts
Casanova only had 122 women (by his own account)
Unknown Terms
7 Hours Rule: The PUA Mystery's finding that it generally takes between 4-10hrs to sleep with a girl with 7 being the average number
Preselection: an indicator that shows the opposite sex that that person has been selected by mates in the past. (eg. Seeing a guy with two girls on his arm makes him more attractive to other females)
Peacocking: Mystery's term for wearing an article of clothing that attracts attention and differentiates you from other men. This clothing item also makes it easy for a girl to talk to you if she is trying to find a way to talk to you
Fools Mate (2-move checkmate): the checkmate delivered after the fewest possible number of moves from the game's starting position. It can be achieved only by Black, giving checkmate on move 2 with the queen.
Move: Mystery's term for moving a girl to a different part of the venue
Bounce: Mystery's term for moving a girl to a different venue or location
Hook Point: When a girl/set wants you to stay more than they want you to leave. They may start leaning in or their eyes may bulge
Neg: a statement or action made to briefly and without insult disqualify oneself from being perceived as a potential suitor