Title The Fear Book

Author Cheri Huber

Year Published 2016

Kind of Book fear/self-help/mindfulness

How strongly I recommend it 6/10 

My Impressions I didn't love this book when I read it, but looking back on my notes a year later I realized that it had several powerful ideas that lingered and stuck with me. It is not a very practical book, but includes a few good insights into the nature of fear.

Date Read Jan 2021

Practical Takeaways

  • Take the first step (and the next step will be clearer, but you can't see it until you take the first one)

  • When you're afraid of what might happen, treat it like a science experiment. "I wonder what will happen if I…"

  • Become the hunter and fear the hunted (instead of the other way around)

  • Start with small fears and then move on to bigger ones

  • Think of catching the beast of fear and accepting it and loving it into extinction

  • When meditating focus on the thing that has your attention. Eg. If you're feeling rage, turn your attention to rage. When boredom is there, turn your attention to that. When distraction or frustration, turn your attention to that

  • Always be a beginner at something (Even if you are an expert in something else) ( it keeps your compassion and humility exercised)

  • (When you are afraid of something) move from the one who is afraid to the one who can assist the one who is afraid Step 1: Get out a recorded and record your worries. Step 2: listen to the recording as if it is a friend. Offer them (you) the support and encouragement they need

  • Don't try to get rid of the doubts in your head, just ignore them

  • Smile at the butterflies in your stomach

 

Big Ideas

  • The stronger the fear you feel, the closer you are to what you are seeking.

  • Fear disguises itself as many other emotions such as: anger, sadness, irritation, urgency, depression, and control.

  • Every time we choose the safe path over the path we want to do, but are afraid, we reinforce fear.

  • When we avoid the discomfort we call fear, our world grows smaller and smaller.

  • We believe that discomfort means there is something wrong,

  • but

  • When we are growing we are supposed to feel uncomfortable ( it doesn't go away)

  • Pursuing happiness relentlessly can be its own kind of suffering

  • When we are willing to pay attention, everything enlightens us

  • When we are in fear of potential problems we are fearing problems that don't exist The list of potential problem (things that could theoretically go wrong) is endless.

  • It is not true that fear keeps you from doing something dangerous or dumb.

  • Many times when we are in truly threatening situations we feel no fear at all

  • When someone else questions our ability we get mad and try to prove them wrong,

  • but

  • When we question our own ability we just accept it as fact

  • Regret is worse than rejection (or failure)

  • Being negative will not keep things you don't want to happen from happening.

  • We often can't possibly know what the 2nd, 3rd, or 4th step will be until we've taken the first

  • Being a beginner at something keeps us humble

  • When we are humble we are compassionate

Unknown Terms

Straightjacket of fear: a term coined by Cheri Huber to describe the feeling people have when fear is paralyzing them from doing anything.

Anxiety: the fear of fear. The dread of an experience I won't be able to stand