Title The Dictionary of Body Language

Author Joe Navarro

Year Published 2018

Kind of Book Communication/Psychology

How strongly I recommend it 9/10 

My Impressions The systematic part of my brain really liked this book. It is quite literally what it claims to be— a dictionary of nonverbal signals

Date Read circa 2019

Practical Takeaways

  • Meet dates in dimly lit restaurants (dim lightly increases attraction)

  • Never roll your eyes in a professional setting

  • Don't inflect your tone of voice up at the end of declarative sentences (make the inflection down)

  • Use well timed pauses when public speaking

  • Tilt head to disarm someone

  • Tilt head when talking to children or babies

  • Don't clasp arms behind your back (it makes you less approachable)

  • Don't stretch neck out (it is a pacifying behavior that makes you look anxious)

  • Make sure your hands are well groomed

  • Manage your cuticles

  • Keep fingers spread wide

  • Avoid putting your hinds in pockets (especially thumbs)

  • When having a panic attack take a long inhale, then exhale as long as possible

  • Approach people at an angle, not head on

  • Talk to people at an angle, not head on

  • Sit next to your date at an angle, not head on

  • To diffuse an argument, position yourself so you're side by side, face to face/head on

  • Walk at your own pace, not others pace

  • Don't expose the sole of your foot in some countries

 Types of Nonverbal signals by Emotion

Bored Behaviors

Purpose: to amuse oneself

  • Foot rocking

  • Shifting hips

  • Playing with zipper

  • Playing with Ring

  • Cracking knuckles

  • Strumming fingers on table

  • Thumb twirling

  • Fidgeting with objects (phone)

  • Arms clasped behind back

  • Stroking beard or mustache

  • Playing with necklace

  • Strumming fingers on cheek

  • Playing with hair

 

Surrogate Touching (symbolic)

  • Closing eyes after hearing something unpleasant

  • Wrinkling nose after hearing something unpleasant

  • Leg kicking after hearing something unpleasant "kicking away something objectionable"

 

Freeze/Shock Response

Purpose: to make oneself small, still, and quiet so as not to be detected by potential threats

  1. Being still

  2. Being small

  3. Being silent

 

  • Locking ankles around chair

  • Sitting rigidly with legs together

  • Clinging to object

  • Holding fingers close together

  • Holding onto furniture

  • Raising shoulders

  • Jaw dropping

  • O-Face

  • Eyes widening

  • Withdrawing thumbs

  • Holding fingers close together

  • Raising shoulders

  • Holding breath

  • Covering mouth and nose with hands

 

Blocking Behaviors

Purpose:  protect vulnerable parts of one's body from threat

  1. Protecting whole body

  2. Protecting Stomach

  3. Protecting Neck

  4. Protecting Genitals

 Behaviors

  • Fetal position (same position during aid raid/tornado drill)

  • Crossing leg w/ leg forming a barrier between them and other person

  • Putting object in front of body

  • Putting an object in front of belly

  • Pregnant woman covering belly

  • Facing stomach away from person

  • Covering genitals with hands

  • Toes pointing inward

  • Sitting with legs close together

  • Chin withdrawing

  • Chin down

  • Raising shoulders

  • Putting fist in front of neck

  • Playing with necklace

  • Touching neck dimple

 

Fight/Territorial Behaviors

Purpose:  defend one's status in the hierarchy/ mark and claim one's territory/property and

  1. Make oneself appear larger (so others don't challenge)

  2. Making eye contact/challenge

  3. Supply organs with blood/oxygen for fight

 

  • Standing with feet far apart

  • Manspreading

  • Genital Framing (cowboy stance)

  • Standing Arms Akimbo

  • Spreading arms over chair

  • Widening shoulders

  • Hooding Head with hands

  • Staring aggressively

  • Nostril Flaring

  • Temple vain pumping

 

Submission/Shame Behaviors

Purpose: Show surrender and allegiance to a more dominant ape

  1. Exposing vulnerable parts of body

  2. Not making eye contact/challenge

 

  • Tilting head to expose neck

  • Playing with hair w/ palm out

  • Exposing inner wrists

  • Exposing armpits

  • Turning stomach towards person

  • Palms up (Jesus pose)

  • Exposing bottom teeth with eyebrows raised *not sure on this one

  • Lowering eyes

  • Bowing

  • Eyelids fluttering *not sure on this one

 

Pacifying Behaviors

Purpose: pacify or calm our nerves when we're feeling stressed or anxious

  1. Stroking

  2. Sucking/biting (Freud Oral fixation)

  3. Fidgeting

  4. Stretching

  5. Curling up

  6. Touching

  7. Pacing

 

  • Stroking back of head

  • Stroking head

  • Stroking beard or mustache

  • Rubbing knees

  • Rubbing quads

  • Massaging clavicle

  • Rubbing fingers

  • Massaging thumb

  • Massaging face

  • Rubbing palms

  • Massaging closed fists

  • Masturbating (aka. Stroking yourself/rubbing one out)

  • rubbing nose w/ Eyes closed

  • Stroking area under nose

  • Massaging forehead/temples

  • Pressing hand on forehead

  • Earlobe pulling or massaging

  • Hugging knees

  • Hand wringing

  • Pressing hand on chest

  • Arm massaging

  • Self hugging

  • Pulling skin on neck

  • Massaging neck

  • Rubbing shoulders

  • Wiping cheeks downward with fingers

  • Arms crossed while holding wrist

  • Sucking thumb

  • Sucking pacifier

  • Sucking nipple

  • Biting nails

  • Chewing gum

  • Biting tongue

  • Cheek biting

  • Licking teeth

  • Biting lip

  • Chattering teeth

  • Licking lips

  • Tongue darting

  • Poking tongue in side of cheek

  • Lip compression

  • Narrowing lip

  • Plucking lip with finger

  • Fidgeting with objects (phone)

  • Playing with zipper

  • Playing with ring

  • Playing with necklace

  • Playing with shirt collar

  • Thumb twirling

  • Strumming fingers on table

  • Tapping sides of legs

  • Hair pulling

  • Playing with hair w/ palm facing in

  • Whistling

  • Smoking

  • Overeating

  • Rocking in chair

  • Yawning

  • Stretching Neck

  • Cracking knuckles

  • Shifting jaw

  • Fetal position

  • Hands in pockets

  • Holding onto furniture

  • Clinging to object (blankee)

  • Locking ankles around chair

  • Scratching ankles

  • Eyelid touching

  • Quick nose touch

  • Brushing nose with finger

  • Self-touching while answering a question

  • Touching dimple in neck

  • Touching face

  • Quickly touching cheek

  • Scratching cheek

  • Putting fingers to lip

  • Running fingers through hair

  • Pacing

  • Rocking feet

  • Pulling socks

  • Cathartic exhale "ohhh" "wee"

  • Fast blinking

Unknown Terms

Genital Framing: (cowboy stance): A posture where the hands and fingers draw attention to the genitals

Isiopraxis: echoing the posture of the person we're with

Arms Akimbo: A position in which hands are on the hips with the thumbs facing forward and the elbows and bowed outward. This is a territorial display and is common amongst police officers

Proxemics: the branch of knowledge that deals with the amount of space that people feel is necessary to set between themselves and others.

Politicians Thumb (Clinton Thumb): a common gesture amongst politicians and a trademark of Bill Clinton in which one emphasizes points of speech with a fist with the thumb resting on top. This gesture is seen as powerful and authoritative without having the negative and accusatory affects that a pointed finger does.