Title Never Eat Alone
Author Keith Ferrazzi & Tahl Raz
Year Published 2014
Kind of Book Networking/Business/Relationship
How strongly I recommend it 7/10
My Impressions I did not enjoy reading the book. I found the author's tone obnoxious and arrogant, however the book did what it promised and I was able to take away a lot of practical action steps for building and cultivating my network
Date Read November 2021
What question is the author trying to answer?
How can I build and cultivate an amazing network of people who can help me succeed in business and enrich my life (I theirs)?
Practical Takeaways
Get to know the people in your contact list well enough that if you gave them a call it would not be weird
connect with the connectors.
Never give any one person complete access to your entire list of contacts. (it reflects poorly on you if they find out you gave out their contact info without asking them)
invite your clients and prospects into your executives’ homes to have dinner and meet the family
Schedule time on your calendar for giving
Stop focus on how you're going to make yourself successful and start thinking about how you're going to make others successful
Get to know as many people from as many different social circles and professions as possible
Never stop pinging people in your network
To maintain a first degree relationship with someone—Send an e-mail or give a phone call at least once a month
To maintain a second degree relationship with someone—Send them at least 2-3 pings a year
To transform a contact to a friend, opt for at least 2 face to face meetings outside of the office
Remember people's special dates, Birthdays, and anniversaries and reach out to them on these dates
Keep a note/journal of when the last time you contacted a person, how you connected, and what you talked about
When you have some time to kill, go through your contacts and call or text people you have not connected to in a long time
For casual acquaintances you already know pretty well; make sure you email or call once a quarter to stay in touch
Monitor your Network's social media to see how you might be useful to them
Schedule times to ping your contacts
When pinging someone in your network try to communicate “Hey, it’s been too long since we’ve spoken and I wanted you to know that I miss you, that you’re important to me.” *maybe in a more professional way if it is a professional relationship
Try to make your pings as personal as possible
Send people value-pings where you send them helpful resources/articles, recommendations etc. based on what they need
Ping people things that they are interested in that you come across. Eg. “It was a pleasure meeting you the other day. You mentioned your love of jazz. It just so happens that I have a rare recording of Miles Davis. I thought you’d get a kick out of it. Let me know what you think.”
Don't ping on Christmas/Thanksgiving/New Years (It will get lost in the shuffle)
Ask for people's birthday when you get their contact information
Sing happy birthday to people on their voicemail (or voice memo)
(for dinner parties) Aim for 6-10 guests
(for dinner parties) tell people they are welcome to come late if they have other plans
(for dinner parties) make it a themed party
(for dinner parties) send invites out a month in advance
(for dinner parties) If you can’t hire a caterer, either cook all the food ahead of time or just use takeout.
(for dinner parties) Make one large dish, like a stew or chili that can be prepared a day or two ahead of time. Serve it with great bread and salad
(for dinner parties) Good food. Good people. Lots of wine. Good conversation.
(for dinner parties) Don't seat couples together. Match people together who don't know each other, but share an interest
(for dinner parties) put place cards where guests should sit. Put a funny ice breaker question on it
Only connect two people if you know both of them
Write your LinkedIn profile for the job you want to have, not the job you have.
Squeeze a little time into your schedule to keep up with what’s going on in the world.
Focus on your strengths not your weaknesses
go on a spirituality retreat once a month, even if it’s a one-day local meditation retreat.
Ask others how they see you.
Take on the projects no one wants at work.
Never ask for more pay until after you’ve been doing the job successfully and become invaluable.
develop relationships with journalists
Treat Journalists as You Would Any Other Member of Your Network or Community of Friends
Manage your own media
“Never sell beyond the close,” ie. Stop selling the product after they've agreed to buy
Tell the early mentors what they meant to you and how much they were responsible for your success today.
If there is someone whose knowledge you need, find a way to be of use to that person.
Big Ideas
People fall into 3 categories
1)givers: give without expecting anything in return
2)takers: look for way to take without giving
3)Matchers: give in equal proportion to what they get
You receive in proportion to how much you give
80 percent of building and maintaining relationships is just staying in touch.
If you stop reaching out to people in your Network the relationship will die
All People Care About their Birthday
The most exciting phrase to hear a scientist say is, 'that's funny…'
People tend to learn in their 20s and earn money in their thirties
Surprising Facts
On the online dating site OKCupid, the e-mails that get the most responses are the ones that say things like, ‘You mention’ ... or ‘I noticed that’ ... In other words, phrases that showed that the person had carefully read the other’s profile,”
The single best predictor of college success is the ability of a student to create or to join a study group.
Unknown Terms
Pings: Keith Ferrazzi's term for reaching out to someone in your network in a small way periodically to keep the relationship in-tact and front of mind