Title Awaken the Giant Within
Author Anthony Robbins
Year Published 1992
Kind of Book Self-Help
How strongly I recommend it 10/10
My Impressions Sometimes you just need a good early 90s Self-Help Book… Brian Koppelman's review of the book summarizes my feelings exactly:"This book asked me crucial questions about the stories I was telling myself that were limiting my growth. I don't know anyone who couldn't benefit from a little Tony." Probably the best book I know to get your head right!
Date Read December 2019
What question is the author trying to answer?
Practical Takeaways
Direct your focus and Concentrate your power on one area of your life
Demand more of yourself
Find someone who is already getting the results you want and model them
Overcome your pattern of procrastination
Ask yourself "How am I going to live the next 10 years of my life?"
Ask yourself "How am I going to live today in order to create the tomorrow I'm committed to?"
Live your life on the highest level
Instead of saying "I have to…" say "I get to…" A: There is almost nothing you have to do if you live in this country
Ultimate Success Formula
Decide what you want
Take action
Notice what's working or not
Change your approach until you achieve what you want
Commit to achieving a result then cut yourself off from any other possibility
Make more decisions A:it will make you better at making decisions
Take action. Don't just consume information
Set a course for where you really want to go
Have a plan or map so that you can make quality decisions along the way
Overcome your fear of making the wrong decision
Look at the consequences, learn from them, and use those lessons to make better decisions in the future
Learn from your mistakes
Commit yourself to long-term results, rather than short-term fixes
Just decide!
Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach
Don't get stuck worrying about the means in which you will achieve your goal
Make 2 decisions that you've been putting off; one easy decision and one that's a bit more difficult
Learn how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you
Link massive pain to a behavior you want to avoid
Break up the chapter with quotes and pictures on every other page
Don't focus on what belief is true, focus on what belief is most empowering
Err on the side of overestimating your capabilities
Tell yourself "This too shall pass"
Slow your speech to get someone to relax
Eliminate your disempowering beliefs and replace them with empowering ones
Improve yourself in some way everyday
Kill the monster while its still small
At the end of the day ask yourself "What have I learned today?
At the end of the day ask yourself What did I contribute or improve
At the end of the day ask yourself What did I enjoy?
Link pain to the old behavior and pleasure to the new behavior
Adopt the belief that we can change in a moment
Take responsibility for your own change
Ask questions that let the other person reveal that they are being inconsistent
Associate more pain to not changing than to changing
Ask yourself "What will this cost me if I don't change?"
If you want to stop your habit of eating when you start to overeat jump in the middle of the room, point at your own chair and scream at the top of your lungs, "PIG!"
Give yourself a reward after doing it 1 day or 1 time (not just at the end of the long goal)
Grin in front of the mirror for 5minutes for 7 days in a row
Go out for a skip instead of a jog
Make yourself laugh for no reason at all 3 times a day for the next 7 days
Focus on where you want to go, not on what you fear
Create a hug list of healthy ways to make yourself feel good so you don't need to turn to destructive ways (swim, meditate, nap, play drums, power pose, eat a healthy snack, drink water, have sex, get a massage, run, take a warm shower, pet a dog, do jumping jacks, laugh)
Never lose a holy curiosity-Albert Einstein
Ask yourself what is great about this problem?
Ask yourself What is not perfect yet?
Ask yourself What am I willing to do to make it the way I want it?
Ask yourself How can I enjoy the process while I do what is necessary to make it the way I want it?
In the morning ask yourself What am I committed to in my life right now?
Ask yourself What could you be happy about right now if you wanted to be?
When something doesn't go your way ask yourself What is great about this? How can I use this?
Stop evaluating and start doing
Instead of saying I'm angry say I'm a little bit peeved/annoyed
Expand your vocabulary
Say Overloaded/ not on top of it not overwhelmed
Say excited not scared
When someone asks you how you are say something other than good or fine (eg. Unstoppable, killer, juiced, spectacular, focused, lovely, brilliant, explosive, vibrant, awesome)
Say concerned not worried
Be precise in the words you use
Ask people what they are passionate about
Say underwhelmed not disappointed
Stop labeling yourself as depressed
Say spirited debate not argument
Call it excitement not stage freight
Utilize metaphors as a way to communicate to the common man
Make sure you're not limiting yourself with disempowering metaphors (eg. I'm trapped etc.)
Think about the metaphors you use to describe how you're feeling
Get rid of I'm stuck metaphor
Adopt empowering metaphors
Tell yourself life is a….game, dance, adventure
Tell yourself my body is…the temple of my soul
Make the decision to live
Whenever you hear someone using a metaphor that places limits, just step in, break their pattern, and offer a new one
Don't ignore your emotions
Rehearse handling situations where different negative emotions aka action signals come up in the future
Be Prepared-Boy Scout Motto
Make sure your expectations are realistic
Remind yourself that you're not perfect and that you don't need to be
When your feel overwhelmed
1.Write down what is most important to you right now
2.Tackle the first thing on the list
After you've done all the preparation you can for something, make a decision to have faith
Call negative emotions - action signals
Make a rule for yourself that every time you hear a train whistle you will feel great (condition yourself)
When you feel a negative emotion/action signal
Cultivate your garden-Voltaire
Make sure that when you read your goal it gives you a sense of crazed excitement when you think of achieving it
Take moment to identify what emotion you're feeling
Acknowledge and appreciate your emotions
Get curious about the message this emotion is offering you
Remember a time when you've successfully handled that emotion before
Take actions
Decide to be happy now
Live each day to the fullest
Don't worry about understanding how you will achieve your goals when you set them. Trust that your Reticular Activation system will figure it out
Take your first step now!
Write down what your dream woman is like mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually
Go on a 7 day mental diet where you go 7 days without holding a negative thought
Become a reader
Make sure you're in a resourceful state of mind not a survival state of mind when making decisions about what things mean to you
Decide what you value most in life. Commit to living by it every day
Be more concerned with your character than your reputation A: your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.-John Wooden
Set your values so that you're meeting them every day
Ask yourself IN what order do my values need to be to achieve my ultimate destiny?
Ask yourself what the cost is for having your number one value at number one eg. If your number one value is growth you are likely to be uncomfortable a lot
Avoid indulging in worry
Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you-Henry Ward Beecher
Ask yourself What needs to happen for you to feel successful?
Make sure your happiness is determined on what is in your control not what is out of it (eg. Happy because I approached vs. sad because she said no)
Determine in your relationship how often you need to communicate
Don't expect people to live by your rules if you don't clearly communicate what they are
Don't have too many rules for your children
Create a balance between your must rules and your should rules *make a list of each
Retake the same seminar or program years later
Immerse yourself in another culture
Think of some fun references to have and put them on the calendar
Decide to feel confident before establishing competence in an area
Identify with what and who you want to become
Expand your view of yourself
Do the things you don't think you can do and use those actions as your new references
Ask yourself what more can I be?
Be playful
Hold yourself to a higher standard
Adopt the belief that as an individual you can make a difference
Commit once a month to visiting a prisoner who has truly decided to change the quality of his life. Become a loving, supportive friend and show him or her the choices available
Don't underline important sentence in your book in ink. Let the reader determine what should be underlined
Reduce or eliminate your consumption of hamburger meat
Lead by example
Show your child that their decisions and actions, consistently made, make a major difference
Do something for someone who will never be able to repay you-John Wooden
Be willing to feel stupid
Be will to try things that might not work
Stop by a senior citizens home, walk in, and strike up a conversation
Ask seniors "What are some of the most important lessons you've learned in your life?"
Strive for balance rather than perfection
Commit to giving an hour or two of your time each month to doing charity work
Live life fully while you're here
Experience everything
Go out and screw up!
Be a lifelong learner
Dare to make more mistakes-Regrets of Nadine Stair (86 y.o woman)
Relax-Regrets of Nadine Stair (86 y.o woman)
Limber up-Regrets of Nadine Stair (86 y.o woman)
Take more trips-Regrets of Nadine Stair (86 y.o woman)
Climb more mountains-Regrets of Nadine Stair (86 y.o woman)
Swim more rivers-Regrets of Nadine Stair (86 y.o woman)
Travel lighter-Regrets of Nadine Stair (86 y.o woman)
Go to more dances-Regrets of Nadine Stair (86 y.o woman)
Ride more merry-go-rounds-Regrets of Nadine Stair (86 y.o woman)
Pick more daisies-Regrets of Nadine Stair (86 y.o woman)
Live each day as if it were one of the most important days of your life
Learn to love change A: it’s the only thing that is certain
Ask yourself "How can I use this?" ie. What can I learn from this?
After something "bad" happens to you, ask yourself "How can I use this to help others?"
Big Ideas
We underestimate our capacity to master something when we focus all our resources on one area of our lives
Most people never concentrate their energy on one thing in order to master it
All human behavior is about changing the way we feel ie. Our emotional state
We overestimate what we can accomplish in a year
We underestimate what we can accomplish in a decade
Repetition is the most important thing for mastering any skill
What we do once in a while isn't what shapes our lives
What we do consistently shapes our lives
You don't HAVE to go to work (ie. You can quit/change jobs)
There are very few things you HAVE to do in America
The more decisions you make the better your decision making becomes
Knowledge only becomes power when it is acted upon
Most people go through life never deciding where they want to get (ie. Having clear goals)
When we succeed we celebrate our success (usually without analyzing it)
When we fail we tend to ponder and analyze why we failed
Long-term focus/goal is necessary to succeed in life
Just because you haven't gotten something YET, doesn't mean you will NEVER get it
Deciding WHAT to do is often harder than actually doing the thing
All human behavior is motivated
Everything we do is either to avoid pain or to gain pleasure
Our fear of loss is stronger than our desire for gain
Change usually comes as a result of a person hitting a level of pain they aren't willing to settle for anymore
When massive pain is linked to a behavior we avoid it at all costs
Therefore
What we link pain and pleasure to shapes our destiny
The events in our lives don't shape us as people
Our BELIEFS about what the events in our lives our are what shape us as people
Most people do not consciously decide what they are going to believe
Often we form beliefs from misinterpretating an experience
Our beliefs are just interpretations of reality (not reality)
We forget that our beliefs are merely our personal interpretation of events
How we deal with adversity shapes our lives more than anything else
If you question anything enough, eventually you'll begin to doubt it
All truth goes through 3 stages
First it is ridiculed
Second, it is violently opposed
Finally, it is accepted as self-evident
-Schopenhauer
Happiness requires constant growth
Improving yourself every day is the only way to guarantee security in life
East easier to handle problems early on (before they've become big problems)
Nothing in life has intrinsic meaning
We ascribe things with meaning
Things change in a second
Willpower alone is not enough to achieve lasting change
Most people associate pain with changing quickly
We can only change ourselves
We can't change other people
We only change when something becomes a MUST (not when it’s a "should" or an "I'd be nice")
The ability to act courage diminishes when we don't act courageous
SP: The ability to act courageous grows stronger the more we act courageously
The ability to love diminishes when we don't love
SP: The ability to love grows stronger the more we love
Any time you experience significant amounts of pain or pleasure, your brain immediately searches for the cause
When we have both a desire to succeed and fail at something we often don't succeed
We attract what we focus on into our lives
When we focus on what we don't want we attract more of it into our lives
The most pain we can experience in life is the pain of not living up to our own standards for ourselves
We change when we associate more pain to NOT changing than to changing
Sometimes people (unconsciously) act depressed in order to get attention and pity from others
Therefore
Sometimes people have a motivation to be depressed and not feel better
You can change your emotions by
Changing your physiology
Changing what you're focusing on
The way we move/hold our body affects the emotions we feel
Making mental images bigger/sharper/brighter/in color/in 3D makes them have a stronger emotional impact on you
SP: making mental images smaller/blurrier/darker/in black in white/2D makes them have a weaker emotional impact on you
The quickest way to change your focus is by asking yourself a new question
We feel bad because we are focusing on the bad things in our life (while at least temporarily ignoring what is good)
We feel good because we are focusing on the good things in our life (while at least temporarily ignoring what is bad)
The better the state we're in, the better we are at coming up with ways of dealing with challenges
The words we use to describe our emotions changes the way in which we experience them (or reflect on them)
The stronger your vocabulary the more vivid your emotions will be/ the more vivid your ability to reflect on your emotions will be
The weaker your vocabulary the less vivid your emotions will be/ the less vivid your ability to reflect on your emotions will be
The metaphors we use can limit our ability to think about a problem
Metaphors can contain limiting beliefs that the person using the metaphor implicitly adopts
People are never literally stuck in a situation when they say, 'I'm stuck'
Some metaphors are beneficial (ie. Give us empowering beliefs)
Some metaphors are limiting (ie. Give us limiting beliefs)
Some metaphors are beneficial is some contexts and limiting in others
Strong negative emotions can be useful in pushing us to make a positive change
Our emotions occur to deliver us a message to move us to action (ie. They are action signals)
When we ignore the message our emotions are trying to tell us they come back stronger and stronger
Some people try to meet their need for significance by showing off how much worse they have it than everyone else
Our fear of the attack is often times worse than the attack
When we feel the emotion of anger is an indicator that we feel that someone (or ourselves) has violated an important standard or rule that we hold
When we feel the emotion frustration, it is a signal that we feel we could be doing better than we currently are (or something could be better than it is)
When we feel the emotion of disappointment, it is a signal that something that we really wanted to happen is probably not going to happen (or didn't happen)
When we feel the emotion of guilt, it is a signal that we have violated one of our higher standards for ourselves
When we feel the emotion of inadequacy, it is a signal that we feel we can't do something that we should be able to do
When we feel helpless, or depressed, it is a signal that we feel overloaded or overwhelmed
The secret to living a good life is to give to others
Sometimes disappointments/failures are opportunities in disguise
Whenever you have difficulty making a decision it is an indicator that you are unclear about what your values are
Many people believe that if they're happy they will lose their drive
But
Being happy doesn't cause a person to lose his drive
Being happy causes a person to want to do more for others
The people who are hard on themselves are hard on others
SP: The people who are hard on others are hard on themselves
SP: The people who are critical of themselves are critical of others
SP: The people who are critical of others are critical of themselves
Having extremely high expectations of yourself is not necessary to keep your drive
If you have rules for your yourself that are impossible to keep to you will eventually feel helpless, depressed, and guilty
Dressing up in a Halloween costume allows people to do things they wouldn't normally do (but have always wanted to do)
Because
When we dress up in costumes we are less concerned about being consistent with our everyday personality
Surprising Facts
For thousands of years people thought it was impossible to run a mile in less than 4 minutes. In 1954 Roger Bannister broke the four minute mile. The next year 300 runners broke it.
Sugar makes you thirsty
Where a driver looks is where the bike/car/plane etc. will go
English has more words than any other language
German has the second most words, but only has about half as many words as English
The average person's working vocabulary consists of somewhere between 2-10thousand words
There are twice as many words to describe negative emotions as positive emotions in the English language (1,051 to 2,086)
Some Native American languages have no word for "lie"
Unknown Terms
Socratic Method: a form of cooperative argumentative dialogue between individuals, based on asking and answering questions to stimulate critical thinking and to draw out ideas and underlying presuppositions. It is named after the Classical Greek philosopher Socrates who notoriously used the method on men he met in the streets of Athens.
The Pygmalion Effect (Rosenthal Effect): a psychological phenomenon wherein high expectations lead to improved performance in a given area. The effect is named after the Greek myth of Pygmalion, a sculptor who fell in love with a statue he had carved, or alternately, after the psychologist Robert Rosenthal. Rosenthal and Lenore Jacobson, in their book, applied the idea to teachers' expectations of their students affecting the students' performance, a view that has been undermined partially by subsequent research
Belief: "a feeling of certainty about something."
Opinion: "something we feel relatively certain about, but the certainty is only temporary because it can be changed easily." pg.87
Conviction: a belief that a person holds so dearly that they get angry if someone questions it.