Title A Complaint Free World

Author Will Bowen

Year Published 2013

Kind of Book Self-Help

How strongly I recommend it 7/10 

My Impressions STOP FUCKING COMPLAINING! IT'S KILLING YOU. IT'S DESTROYING YOUR POTENTIAL. IT'S HARMING YOUR RELATIONSHIPS. IT'S KEEPING YOU STUCK. -- there you don't have to read the book now….

In all seriousness, this book had some good tips to become aware of how much you complain and gossip and how to work towards cutting it out.

Date Read circa 2015

Practical Takeaways

  • If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude-Maya Angelou

  • Don't be sarcastic

  • Don't gossip

  • Don't complain

  • Don't criticize

  • Try going 21 consecutive days without gossiping, complaining, criticizing, or being sarcastic. Wear the purple bracelet. Each time you do, change it to the other wrist and start over from day one

  • Stop complaining (and your thoughts will become more positive)

  • Stop complaining and focus on a resolution

  • Stop saying things are going to be badr

  • Sit in absolute silence if the person you're talking to starts complaining

  • Ask someone "What's going well for you?"

  • When someone complains to remove responsibility ask 'If it was possible how would you do it?

  • Talk only about positive traits of those who are absent

  • Say the same things and with the same inflection that you would say if the person were present

  • When someone complains to you about someone else invite that person to speak directly to the person they're complaining about

  • Compliment the complainer for being the opposite of what they are complaining about (eg. Them 'she is such a slut' You 'you are so pure'

  • Stop saying "that's impossible"

  • Let negativity roll off you like water off a duck's back

  • When you catch yourself complaining to excuse poor performance ask yourself what you can do differently next time to prepare for that

  • Stop making excuses and begin to move towards your dreams

  • Before speaking, consider whether it is an improvement upon silence-Swami Kripalvanandji

  • Do everything without complaining-Philippains 2:14

  • Notice if you use the words "of course" after something negative or positive happens

  • Say 'challenge' instead of 'setback'

  • Say 'discomfort' instead of 'pain'

  • Say 'I get to…' instead of 'I have to'

  • Renounce sarcasm-Thomas Carlyle

  • (as a leader) Inspire people to reach their highest level of performance

 

Big Ideas

 

  • Complaining about something keeps you focused on the problem rather than the solution

 

Reasons people complain

  1. Get attention

  2. Remove responsibility

  3. Inspire envy (to brag)

  4. Power (building support against a rival should a conflict arise)

  5. Excuse poor performance

 

  • If you use the word 'of course' after something bad happens that means you expected it to (and will attract more negative things to happen to you)

  • If you use the word 'of course' after something positive happens that means you expected it to (and will attract more positive things to happen to you)

 

  • Venting angry feelings increases aggressive inclinations, it does not decrease them

 

3 Things that determine income

  1. Demand for what you do

  2. How good you are at what you do

  3. The difficulty in replacing you

 

  • Sarcasm is type of passive-aggressive complaining

 

  • Many people complain in conversation because they don't know how to start conversations or make small talk any other way